When I read you first post it felt like a bullet went through my heart. I am so sorry to hear of this terrible situation.

I can not wait to hear your testimony when God gets you through all that is happening and has happened with you and your family!!!!

You will be able to help so many people who have been hurt by Church Folk.

It is a shame that we have built a culture of Dead Beat Church Folk who refuse to help Leadership make disciples. I hope that you will be able share with the right people at the church so that others that come behind you will not have to experience the same kind of hurt unnecessarily. I also hope the pastor did do something to support you in your situation. Maybe the person he sent to check on you failed to do their job. If in fact that is the case, which you will never know until you confront the issue head on in love, then the pastor needs to know. He can not address issues unless things are brought to his attention. On the other hand, there are so many other possibilities that could have transpired that you will never know until you begin to seek out truth to help fix what is broken.

In His Love,
Anthony

I feel your pain. I have asked the same questions at times in my life. I have been a single mother for 30 years and raised 2 sons without the help of a soul, only me and God. I gave up and got mad at God a lot of times and rebeled against him. My sons are grown now and both Christian men. We too got done really, really bad by our last church where we had been members for 12 years. We had really been very involved (bus ministry, outreach, etc). My younger son had grown up in that church and actually attended our Christian school from 5th grade until 12th. But no one there really had anything to do with me (I’m divorced) and my sons except for the outreach minister, which she was our only friend. We left that church after the way they treated us and started going to another one. I did not want to go to church again after this last one, but the only thing I kept thinking was that I was going to serve the God that so loved me and my sons and kept us safe for all those years I was raising them and I owed him big time! The new church we go to is so different than the other, but not in the way it is better. It is very lonely for us there too. The pastor only has service on Sunday mornings. There is no Wednesday night service or Sunday night service like at our other church. There is no fellowship dinners or people calling me to help out, which was what I loved. Now, I just am waiting for God to come. I have a 2 sons that I adore and we just comfort one another. People at churches no longer reach out anymore and want to be the sisters and brothers in Christ that they are ordered by God to be.

So, just letting you know that I know your pain. I pray that you will just hang in there and remember its all about Him and He does love you. I sit here this morning with tears streaming down my face as I know how you feel.

Susan

In Christ,

Jo

I was so saddened to read your post. I’m so very sorry that you and your daughter are suffering mightily. In my belief, God is weeping with you and your daughter. He feels your pain and wraps His arms around you tightly like the most loving parent and best friend. God doesn’t cause the horrible things. And we don’t know why they happen. And yeah, sometimes we get really really angry because we know it was in His power to intervene. We don’t know why He doesn’t – but we trust that there is a master plan. Churches are full of human people who make horrendous mistakes. And you have suffered those. Please don’t give up. Tell God your anger. Tell God your confusion. Rail at Him. And then let Him work to help you find peace.

I’ll pray for you.

In Christian love,
Patty

Aside from situations like Belinda’s I think the issue is really that church members have become consumers and churches are even falling into seeing their members as consumers as well. We are the church. The church is not the staff. If you don’t feel involved, then get involved. If you don’t feel like you were welcomed well enough, then join (or create) a welcome group so you can be sure no one else isn’t welcomed well enough.

We’ve lost focus on what church is. So many now look at what the church can offer them. Even in the 3 questions Andy asks they are all about whether the church is meeting your “needs”. But is the church really about meeting your “needs”?

Consider groups like the American Cancer Society. When we decide if we want to donate or help out with a group like the ACS, do we ask whether they are meeting our “needs” or do we join with them because we want to help find a cure for cancer. The idea is that this is a group of people coming together to reach a common goal. Granted it isn’t a perfect analogy, but in many ways the church is just people coming together to reach the common goal of sharing the love of Christ with others and proclaiming the Gospel. Do we go to church because of what the church can do for us or do we go to church to hear the Word, receive the sacraments, and join with others in serving Christ.