Today’s devotional at Lifetime Guarantee Ministries, written by the late Anabel Gillham, deals with a very similar situation. Think about the last time you encountered a serious setback or disappointment in your life. How did you react? Anabel, reflecting on a huge personal disappointment that caught her by surprise, lays out the different ways we can respond in such a situation:

Well, we have options. (1) Go in the bathroom, close the door and cry hard. Wait. (2) Go to your room and collapse on the bed feeling like you’ve just been hit by a truck. Wait. (3) Retaliate and cause bigger problems. Wait. (4) Stuff it and feed your ulcer. Wait. (5) Tell yourself the truths that we’ve learned together and make yourself listen! He is with me. He loves me. He can handle this (I sure can’t!) He is with me. He loves me. He can handle this–one hand tied behind His back. Wait. (6) Get busy. Whistle while you work or sing while you suffer. (I whistle. My singing leaves a lot to be desired.) Wait. (7) Do something nice for someone. All the while fixing your thoughts on those things that are true and good and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely. Dwell on the fine, good things in others. Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about. Not just one time–over and over and over, etc. Wait. (8) Ask Him to tell you what to do. Ask Him to give you His thoughts on how to handle this unexpected crisis–and listen. Wait. (9) Thank Him for taking care of this crucial episode that burst into your life quite unexpectedly–having one goal–to incapacitate you or destroy you! Wait. (10) Go back to #5 and do it all over again.

I am presuming that you caught the word, “wait?” Spewing out those impulsive, angry, defensive, hurtful words on the tip of your tongue–no! Regurgitating rash, condemning statements to anyone around you–no! God tells us, “Be angry–but sin not. Meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still” which means wait (Psalm 4:4).

Obviously, there are many different ways to respond to life crises, and different situations call for different responses. But whatever the response, it’s important that we not sin by acting rashly and emotionally. The next time you’re insulted, disappointed, or provoked, don’t indulge your instinctive reaction. Wait.

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. —Psalm 37:7

Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly. —Proverbs 14:29

We can learn a lot from how Joseph reacted to each new challenge in his life. At every step of the way he had to make a decision whether to give into the temptation to despair, or to move forward. This devotional from Day by Day points out that holding onto bitterness often ends up hurting us and making us miss out on the good that God has for us:

For many of us, we would sooner withdraw than to seek to find greater purpose in our place. We victimize ourselves and consider ourselves deserving of the bitterness we harbor, all the while ignoring how the bitterness is only hurting us and making matters worse. We turn our entire situation inward and grow more angry with each passing day, and then we convince ourselves that no one could possibly understand, and that no one is worthy of identifying with the pain we have felt. Granted, the pain was real and the hurt very personal. But, the bottom line is that we have a choice as to what that pain and hurt becomes. It can either be evil that remains evil—or it can be turned around by God to bring something that is good.

There is so much in this world meant for evil, and there is so much we will suffer as a result of that evil. But there is a God who is far greater, and there is a potential for good to be brought out from all things. We do not have to allow the evil to hurt us to the point of permanently stealing our joy. We do not have to allow the evil to imprison us in an eternal withdrawal and disillusionment. There is a victory that can come out of the worse circumstances, and a joy that can radiate from a wounded heart. All because God can take what some mean for evil, and use it to accomplish greater things.

Are you holding onto bitterness? What would it take for you to let go of it and trust God?

In this devotional from Lifetime Guarantee Ministries, Anabel Gillham muses about Cain’s motivation:

How much time did Cain spend brooding over the honor that Abel was given? What thoughts did Cain practice over and over in his mind?

Hurt pride? “My offering was as good as his. I’d spent just as much time on mine.”

Self-pity? “I did the very best I could do. Why do things like this happen to me? Nothing seems to go right–no matter how hard I try.”

Failure? “Seems like my best is never quite good enough. I just don’t do things well–never have, never will.”

Jealousy? “If only I had thought of doing that. He was always the favorite.

Resentment? “Why should his offering be accepted and mine not be accepted? Any way you look at it, that’s not fair!”

Rejection? “How could God treat me this way? Why was my offering turned down? What’s wrong with me?”

Bitterness? “I don’t have to put up with stuff like this. And I don’t intend to put up with it! I’ll take care of this my way. I’m sick of Abel and everything about him! I’ll show him!”

The full fruit of anger, ripe. Cain probably felt and thought a lot of other things before he felt and chose revenge. One little thing plus another little thing plus other little things and suddenly you have a mountain of little things you can’t see around, a mountain that comes between you and that person and there’s death on that mountain.

Abel played out his part, too….

(Read the full devotional for Anabel’s thoughts on what Abel might have done to help Cain steer clear of sin.)

The most frightening thing about the story of Cain and Abel is that Cain’s terrible action isn’t incomprehensible. It was driven by emotions that are familiar to us even today: resentment, jealousy, self-pity. Thankfully, most of us don’t follow those emotions as far as Cain did… but the anger that consumed Cain is the same sin that wants to consume us, too. Fortunately, as the devotional explains, Christ offers freedom from the power of anger.

When you feel your anger rising, what do you do to keep it in check? Do you have a favorite verse that helps you in situations where you’re tempted to let your anger control your actions?

How do we make sense of the powerful emotion of anger in our lives? How do you tell the difference between anger that is godly, and anger that is sinful and destructive?

Here’s how RBC Ministries answers the question:

When monitoring our anger, it is important to understand that much of our anger is fueled by a hatred of injustice, whether real or perceived. Anger over injustice reflects the core longing for justice we all share. We are incensed when life seems unfair. We can know, however, if the anger we feel is sinful or godly by considering the provocation, goal, motivation, and timing of our anger.

Selfish anger is provoked when we believe we’ve been treated unjustly or unfairly. We want something, we don’t get it, we feel deprived, and now someone is going to pay for having treated us this way (James 4:1-4). […]

Conversely, godly anger is provoked in us when we witness persistent violations of God’s standards of justice (Psalm 119:53). There is an appropriate time to be outraged over those who hold God in contempt and mar the beauty of His creation.

Read the rest of RBC’s answer at How can I discern the difference between sinful anger and godly anger?

Do you struggle with anger? How do you keep your anger confined to appropriate contexts?

What do you think?

Scripture, though, never makes this distinction, which ignores the nature of human motivation. Pride and hurt feelings can run as deeply in righteous indignation as in any other type of anger. Anger is the same emotion, whether evoked by a righteous concern or a dishonorable one. I frankly wish we would throw the term righteous indignation out of our Christian vocabulary; far too much self-righteousness is encouraged by it.

So what does the Bible say about anger—is it a sin or not? Read the full article to learn Smith’s perspective.